Thursday, September 22, 2011

Broken...

Broken are the wings of the songbird
What once gave her flight
Has died beneath the surface
Broken is she who's heart was healed
Numb is she who's heart can still feel
Fly once more she wants to do
But flightless she'll be 
Til her joy is renewed

I wrote this several months back, but it describes me more now than it did when I wrote it.  By nature, I'm a happy, joyful, positive person, but lately I've been feeling like there's a big black cloud above my head that just won't go away.  I know what has created the cloud, yet I don't know how to make it disappear.  I'm a pretty strong girl. I've had a lot thrown at me in short twenty-something years. For the most part, I've done a great job of handling the things that were thrown my way.  I had my struggles and there was a time that I needed doctor intervention to get me back to where I needed to be, but I was able to get past that and I'm stronger because of it. But with what life is dishing out to me now, I almost feel helpless. As much as I try to change my circumstances and replace the ugly in my life, I still come up short.  Nothing is changing and I can't seem to get the ugly to go away.  I used to be able to find joy in any situation, but now it's a struggle to do so. I want to go back to the way I was before. I want to go back so badly, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Or how I'm supposed to get there.  Thankfully, I have great family and friends that will walk beside me til I get back to where I want to be, but I just wish they could tell me how....

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