Is it shallow of me to NOT settle for something I don't want??
I've always been a "bigger" girl. I've come to accept that and I've grown to love my body (and I'm still trying to make healthy changes to it). With that said, when I spend time with a guy that is MUCH smaller than me and only a couple inches taller than me, I can't help but feel insecure. I can't help but feel like my size is on display. I'm uncomfortable. I become extremely self-conscious. I like the guy. He's different from any other guy I've "dated." He opens the door for me, he refuses to let me pay for anything even when I REALLY try to, and he's just an all around good guy, yet I can't seem to get my mind and heart to move in "that way" towards him. It's more than the weight/height thing too. Here's where I begin to sound really shallow....
He has a few really bad teeth. I am a teeth girl and always have been. I don't mind crooked, or a little yellow, or one or two missing (unless it's the front), but when they are black...I fear that it's a sign of poor hygiene. I can't handle that.
Well, I was talking to a friend today. I was telling her about him (the good and the bad) and she told me I shouldn't care about the size as long as he's a good guy and also that his teeth can be fixed. I stated back (probably quite rudely to her) "Why should *I* have to settle for something less than what I want when people around me don't? When they justify writing someone off because they don't fit in just the right way..." She said that I was right. She said that I shouldn't have to settle. I know what I have to do with this guy. As nice/good as he is, it's just not right for me. In addition to the size/teeth thing, we don't agree on a couple of key issues. So, I know what I have to do, but at the same time, this guy and the conversation I had with my friend have really made me question...Am I just shallow???? I mean, I fully believe that there's a guy out there that's right for me. He'll be the good/decent guy I'm looking for and he'll also possess the physical attributes I'm looking for. I'm not asking for model hot. I'm not even asking for hot. I'm asking for someone that I'm attracted to physically and facially. Someone that I DON'T feel self conscious around. Is it shallow of me to pass on this guy and wait for what I want? I mean, is it??
1 comment:
David, physically speaking, is not the man I thought I would end up with. But we connected on a level that was more important then looks. So are you shallow? Maybe. But who isn't?
The thing that stuck out to me is that you said you disagree on key issues. THAT would be the deal breaker for me personally. I can overlook all kinds of physical imperfections but if you're truly looking for husband material, you can't settle for someone where you'd have to sacrifice your ideals.
Post a Comment