Are you a light in the darkness or do you add to it?
This is not a question that needs to be answered to me or outloud, but it is a question that requires each one of us to search our hearts, our actions, and our words. And yes, there is a reason I'm asking this question.
Recently, I have been communicating with a guy I met on New Year's Eve. The majority of our communication was through texts, and then last week Tuesday, we talked on the phone. The conversation was going along smoothly, (I'm not going to get into some of the specifics because those pieces of our conversation belong to him and I don't have his permission to post them publicly), and then it came up that I was raised in a Christian home. He asked me point blank if I was a Christian and I responded honestly; I am. That's when the talk turned in a differnt direction. We talked about beliefs and why he believes what he believes, why I believe what I believe, etc. Through that portion of our talk, I sensed (through things he said) that he had been hurt severely by people claiming to be Christians. At one point in the conversation, he called them hypocrites. He said that if they followed the Bible, then they would treat people kinder and wouldn't turn their backs when someone had a differing view. To an extent, he was right. I tried to apologize and tell him that I wasn't one of them, but I don't know how much of that he really caught, and if he did, how much of it he really believed. I'm not naiive, I know that there are people out there that claim to be Christians, and yet they do turn their backs, they do live a life of hypocricy, and they do hurt the ones that need us to love them the most. I can honestly say it breaks my heart that, because of them, the "water of Christianity" has been polluted.
After that, the phone call was pretty much over. I was trying to process things in my mind and so I was rather silent; unsure of what to say. Afraid that I may have offended him somehow. So, we hung up and I went to bed. The thought process didn't stop there though. Our conversation really got me thinking. Am I a Christian that lives the way the Bible tells me to live? Do I live with compassion and respect for others, regardless of their beliefs? Do I live by the same set of standards I ask of them? Am I a light in the darkness? Or do I live a life of hypocricy and turn my back when I disagree with them and their belief? Do I add to the darkness?
After that, the phone call was pretty much over. I was trying to process things in my mind and so I was rather silent; unsure of what to say. Afraid that I may have offended him somehow. So, we hung up and I went to bed. The thought process didn't stop there though. Our conversation really got me thinking. Am I a Christian that lives the way the Bible tells me to live? Do I live with compassion and respect for others, regardless of their beliefs? Do I live by the same set of standards I ask of them? Am I a light in the darkness? Or do I live a life of hypocricy and turn my back when I disagree with them and their belief? Do I add to the darkness?
I believed in my heart that I try my best to be a light, but I needed an outside opinion, so I talked with some people that know me best and are most honest with me (Christian and non-Christian), and they also believe I live the talk. I know I'm flawed, and I make mistakes in my own life, but I honestly believe that I have the love and compassion for those who are hurting and searching for something. I honestly believe that I live what I speak. I believe I live the life Christ has asked of me. So if you're a Christian reading this, I have to ask; which category do you fall into? Please ask yourself that and pay very close attention to how that will impact the life of someone that is hurting, or unsure of what he believes. Through our words, actions, and life, we may be the deciding factor.
If you're reading this and have been hurt by the church, hurt by the walls of religion, or hurt by people claiming to be Christians I just want to tell you how truly sorry I am. I am sorry if we weren't there for you in your darkest hour. I am sorry if we "preached" one thing and lived the opposite of that. I am sorry if you reached out for a hand and we pulled ours away. I am sorry; I am sorry; I am sorry. I have no excuse for that. That is not how we are called to act, and over time, I truly hope you are able to forgive us. My hope is that you find a Christian friend that shows you the love, compassion, and respect that you deserve.
