I'm beginning to think I should change the description of my blog to "A journey through the boy drama of a twenty-something." It seems like that's the only semi-interesting thing I've had to write about lately. And here I go again (insert eye-rolling)...
1 year ago: Met boy. Enjoyed boy's company. After a couple weeks, went on date w/ boy. After date, told said boy that I liked him and would love to get to know him better. Boy agreed. Boy then left for another country. Boy did not follow through. Girl later finds out that boy started seeing another girl. After everything is said and done, girl #1 ended up with a broken heart. (Just so ya know, the details are a lot more intricate than what I'm giving you, but for the sake of your sanity, I'll spare you...)
6 months ago: Boy comes home from foreign country. Girl sees him and heart aches (Yes, literally.) Girl knows he's seeing someone else. Girl tells herself to accept it and move on (and finds all sort of reasons why he's not 'right' for her). Girl accepts and moves on.
2 days ago: Or so she thinks....
I saw him again and that same ache came back. The convincing didn't work: I still have feelings for him, which brought me to today's post. For once, I'd love to convince myself of something and have my heart follow suit. I personally think it's a brilliant idea, but for now my heart disagrees.
I know these feelings will eventually go away (even if I never get answers), but I'd prefer the 'eventually' to become more immediate. Then maybe I'd be able to have a real conversation with him without feeling like I'm going to burst...I'd be able to be myself 100%. Any ideas on how to speed up the process??
Another brilliant idea: maybe I should move to a foreign country, then I can avoid this whole situation all together. Not a likely plan, but brilliant (to me).
2 comments:
I have no brilliant advice. A boy broke my heart before I met The Dave. More accurately, he shattered it (and me) in to a trillion tiny pieces. It's been five years. I am happily married and would never, in a million years, go back to the boy who broke my heart.
That being said, seeing him wrecks me. Smelling his cologne or seeing someone who looks like him or getting a phone call or text message from him - absolutely destroys me.
Knowing that it's stupid and ridiculous and that I'm over the moon happy doesn't make it go away.
I have no advice for you but I sympathize so very much. If you come up with a magic cure, please let me know.
It's good to know I'm not alone in this, Kait. If I come up with a cure, you'll be the first to know. =)
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