Lighter

I can honestly say...I haven't felt this "light" in a long long time. I don't know if I even remember the last time I felt like this, and I don't mean light as in weight, I mean light as in "less burden." Over the course of 14 years, my life has been somewhat of a mess. With things from my past weighing heavily on my shoulders, I turned "ways out" other than Christ. Without getting some professional help. Over the course of those same 14 years, I tried to cover my issues with other things, which caused more harm than good, weighing me down even more. Well, just recently- I've finally fully addressed those issues; that issue. I started seeing a Christian counselor about 3 weeks ago, and even though we're only into our 3rd week, I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I was getting to the point where I didn't enjoy my job, I wasn't too interested in hanging out with my friends, I just kind of wanted to go home after work and do nothing. But now, I beginnning to enjoy my job again, I spend a little more time with my friends, and well...I have to admit, there are still days that I'd just rather go home after work and do nothing. :P I know this is just the beginning of my journey to health, but if I can feel like this after only 3 weeks, imagine what I'll feel like when I'm done. I never knew HOW weighed down I was until now. I knew I buried it, and there was always a reminder of what my life had become, but I didn't realize that the pain acutally, pretty much, controlled my life and my emotions. I feel a little more free now. As always, I still have my days (especially the day after my sessions) that I just feel low and down and all I want to do is cry...but I'm beginning to see more days where I find it okay to laugh, okay to just be... okay.... I don't know why I'm even saying all of this...I just wanted to share it, if for no other reason that to just re-read it myself and know that there will be a day where I can breath again...without feeling like I'm going to crack under all the pressure.