Back to Beauty...

Well, what can I say? Life takes turns and curves and all sorts of crazy paths and some things get lost in the shuffle. For me, my blog was it. I won't promise consistent posting (hoping that people still read these things), but I will promise to post MORE consistently than I have been.
I know when I last posted, I was working out and posting my progress and so forth. You'll be proud to know that I didn't stop because I stopped working out. I stopped because life happened. My life got very busy. Between the two jobs and working out, losing a loved one, and losing a friendship, the last thing on my mind was to go post something. Every time I saw progress in the mirror, my mind toyed with the idea of posting, and then life took over again. Since my last post in March, I managed to drop about 25 pounds and run (mostly run) my first 5K. I felt a great deal of accomplishment when I crossed that finish line and I had my family there cheering me on, supporting my every step! Soon after my race though, I started feeling extremely discouraged. I was still hitting the gym, but I just wasn't seeing anything and the people that had started out as my main "accountability" dropped out for one reason or another. I'll be honest, self motivation has never been my greatest strength. The thing that really kept me going was the feeling I got; the peace and quiet it brought to my noisy and often crazy life. Also, I still had one person going and cheering me on because he was proud of the accomplishments I was making. Then, in September, he left for basic training and I officially felt less motivated. I would go sporadically a couple times a week, but nothing like I was doing before. With time, both jobs started picking up and I began feeling the effects of exhaustion. The last thing I wanted to do was drag my tired rear end to the gym for a half hour, let alone a full hour (or more). By the time November rolled around, I had made it to the gym 3 times. By the time December hit, not a single time. I miss it. I'm not just saying that...I truly miss it. I tell myself every week, "this is the week I will go. This is the week that I will restart the lifestyle that I enjoy," but it hasn't happened yet. I know it shouldn't be an excuse (especially since it needs to be a lifestyle change and not just a "diet" type thing) but after working both jobs, I have almost nothing left in me. I am continually exhausted. I keep saying that it will pay off in the end, but right now that end seems so far off and as each day passes, I get more and more tired. With that said, as each day passes, I get more and more disappointed in what I see in the mirror. I am a beautiful woman and God gave me curves in all the right places, but I am not where I want to be. I've got so many insecurities that are so tightly intertwined with my body size that the only way for me to FEEL 100% okay with the way I look is to see a drop in size. I may know I'm beautiful in my mind, and I may see it in my heart and in my face, but when I look at my body, I don't see beauty and I don't feel beautiful, I see imperfection. I don't want to drop in size because society tells me I need to. I want to drop in size because I tell me I need to. I admire those full figured women that embrace their bodies and yell from the mountaintops, "LOVE YOUR BODY!! BIG AND BEAUTIFUL!!" but I am not one of those girls. Do I believe you should love your body? Absolutely! I also believe that only you (or I) know where your body needs to be to love it. It was only 25 pounds for me, but when I was down those 25, I could see enough difference that I truthfully embraced my body. I will never be skinny (I inherited the wrong genes for that), nor do I ever really want to be. However, I want to be healthy. Not only in body, but in mind. I want to look in the mirror and love every inch and curve of what I see. I want to like a guy and not wonder if he's "too small" for me. I want to go on a date and not wonder if he's criticizing my size in his mind. Maybe it's all wishful thinking. Maybe because I'm a girl, I'll always have these thoughts and questions and insecurities. Or maybe...just maybe, if I put enough hard work into it, the difference I see will allow me to ignore all of those stupid little devils picking at my brain. This is not my "New Year's Resolution," because we all know the success rate of a that! This is my New Me Resolution. I have to step up and say no to those that are holding me back. Call me selfish, but I can't put myself on the back burner in order to please those around me. If me going to the gym means I miss a TV show with a friend or gab fest with a roommate, then so be it. My life won't be crazy busy forever, but while it is...I have to make sacrifices in order to get "me" time. This is how I'm doing it.

Feel the BURN!!...

Wow, oh, wow!  Today's workout....WOW!
Usually I just stick to cardio, but today we decided to do some strength training.  We took a 6 pound ball and threw it back and forth. Not only did we throw it back and forth, but we squatted and then threw it on the way up.  We ended up doing three reps of ten and my muscles are on fire! It's a good fire, but it's a fire!
I'm enjoying working out more than I ever did before. Maybe it's because I'm doing on MY schedule and not the schedule of a gym (yay for 24 hour gyms!!). Maybe it's because, this time around, I'm doing it for me and only me. I'm not doing it for a guy, I'm not doing it to fit into anything, or a trip or anything of the sort. I'm doing it because I'm finally ready to look in the mirror and like what's looking back at me.  I know losing weight won't make things perfect for me, I'll still have my insecurities, but it'll give me a feeling of confidence and accomplishment.  I'm ready, so ready! =)

Week 3...

Monday, March 12, 2012

Weight:  240.6

Ugh!!  Discouragement is starting to peek it's ugly little head. =(  I got on the scale this morning and my heart about sank to my feet.  I worked so hard this week too!! I worked out all 5 days and I only had one day where I let myself eat more calories than I should have, but I was careful the rest of the week!! Part of it might be that my "week" starts this week and I could be retaining water. Either way, I wanted to cry.  I knew this journey would be hard, I was just hoping to see SOME results by now.  Don't worry though, I'm not giving up yet....I'm just frustrated....

Week 2...

Monday, March 5, 2012:

Weight: 238.6

Definitely not the full two pounds that I was hoping for. Not even a full pound, but it's not the end of the road. I know part of it is due to missing a couple days at the gym, because of an illness, and making a couple really poor food choices this weekend.  It's a new week though and I can get right back on track. I will get back on track! =)  One thing I'm going to, in addition to making better food choices, is up my water intake. I just started reading this book, "Drink This, Not That."  It's from the same people that wrote, " Eat This, Not That" (which I still have to buy), and, while I know water is the best for you, I'm learning some quite fascinating things. Not only about water and what it will do for your overall well-being, but I'm learning what the so-called "healthier" drinks really have in them and how they're not really the healthier choice.  So, in addition to better food choices, and consistent gym visits, I'm going to cut out all diet drinks and replace it with water.  For my caffeine fix, I'll just have to start drinking coffee again, which is fine because it's better than the alternative. So yeah, that's all I've got for today.

=D ....

I'll keep it short and sweet...
I wish the smiley face in my title could truly capture how I'm feeling.  Proud, stronger, and....well...a little sore. =P
Yesterday was day 1 that I worked out. I worked out with Michaele and we did a great job! But today, Michaele had to close her store and didn't expect to be out before 2am, so I decided I was going to go alone after work. Keep in mind, I work two jobs.  Today was one of the days that I had to work both.  Not usually so bad except, today sucked. We were busy at Subway, I was tired, because we were busy, I fell behind on all of my closing duties because we were busy and rather than getting out at 10:30 like I'm used to, I get out 5 minutes after 11.  That made my work day a 13 1/2 hour day.  All I wanted to do was go home and go straight to bed. However, I made this commitment and if I want to see results, I have to follow through, so I went to the gym.  I told myself a max of a half hour. That's all I had in me....45 minutes later I was in a cool down walk.  I LOVED it!  Granted, I know I'm only on day two and still in the "honeymoon" stage, but I, Leah, the girl that battles with insecurities and giving in to what is "easy," took the hard route and worked out...alone...while other people were in the gym!  I'm sore, yes, but that will pass. I'm just proud that I did it alone! I proud that I did it at all!!! =D

Now that I'm WAY past my bedtime....I'm going to call it a night so I can face another 13 hour day tomorrow. But no workout. It's my one day off this week. =)

Much Love!

Week 1...

Moment of truth....
Even as I sit here, I'm nervous to type it all out, but I know it's what's best so I'm just going to get it over with....

Monday, February 27, 2012:  Day one of my journey...
Weight: 239.3 lbs
Hips: 51 in
Waist: 36 in
Bust: 41 in

Tonight will also be the first day I work out. Still trying to get a hold of the personal trainer that will be walking me through the equipment and what I need to do to achieve the best results for me, but I'm not putting off the working out til she meets with me. I'm starting today....

Vulnerability at its finest....

Stay tuned...
I know I haven't posted in awhile, but I'm about to start a new journey. It's a weight loss journey...I joined a gym today and I have friend that I will be working with to be my accountability partner and I will be hers....She's the one I will be working out with, but I'm going to be posting my results and how I'm feeling here.  I'm sure I'll have a lot of ups and downs because weight-loss has always been a difficult process for me... Starting Monday I will be posting my starting weight and then will post results every Monday after that (and maybe a little bit in between) . It's a scary thing for me. By posting my weight and results, I will be making myself extremely vulnerable.  I hate being vulnerable, but in order to make this work, I think I have to do it. I'm hoping that you all will be my support as well.  If I post and I'm feeling discouraged, I'm going to need the encouragement of my friends and family.  Also, I want to make sure I'm staying on top of the blog, so if I'm not being consistent, I'll need a quick text or Facebook message to let me know that I need to get my butt in gear. If you're not up for the task or think I should be doing this on my own, I completely get it. No need to get involved. However, if you're willing to stick by my side through this, it would mean the world to me!

Pulaski Days Virgin...

Even though I was born Dutch and German, today I spent the day like the Polish and let me just say, it was amazing.

Today I joined a good portion of Grand Rapids for their annual "Pulaski Days." For those of you that don't know, it's when the Polish open up their halls to the public for amazing food, beer, and just a grand 'ol time.  This is the first year I went and I didn't really know what to expect.  I was definitely out of my element when I showed up, but it turned out to be a decent day. After the 4th hall, I finally decided to be brave and try the food.  I didn't know what a Pierogie was,  Golumpki sounded gross, and Kalpusta sort of frightened me.  Finally, after the hunger started kicking in, and I got decent explanations of what each item was, I gave it a shot.  Oh. My. Goodness!! The Polish sure know what they're doing in the kitchen!! The food was amazing!  I didn't try the Kapusta because that is sauerkraut and I'm not a huge fan, but the Pierogies are little dough like things filled with mashed potatoes. And the Golumpki?? Probably my favorite of the day. Ground beef with onions and some other things cooked inside cabbage and covered in some sort of red sauce.  The food just melts in your mouth it's so amazing!

Overall, the experience turned out to be great. Besides the amazing food, they played a ton of polka music, which usually annoys me, but just fit with today's adventure, the company was good and the beer was normal.

I may not be Polish, but I'm going to definitely play like them again next year. Maybe with a few extra people though. 

Got Me Thinkin (Pt 2)...

A few months back, I posted this.  I never gave my reasons for not wanting to get pregnant, I just stated that I didn't want to and proceeded to rant about how doctors won't do it....You're fully capable of reading it, so I'm not going to repeat everything I said in the post, but I am going to tell you two main reasons why I chose the "no pregnancy" route and then I'm going to share some new information.

Reason 1: I have Type I diabetes. Not only is it difficult to conceive, but your chances of miscarriage are higher. Also, there is a greater risk of the baby getting diabetes and developing birth defects if a diabetic mother is not careful and allows her "numbers" to get too high. I don't want to be the reason my child ends up with what I have.

Reason 2: I have Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). Pretty much, my hormones are all out of whack.  Like with diabetes it is more difficult to conceive and the chances of miscarriage are higher.  I don't handle death well, so I can't imagine how I would respond if I had multiple miscarriages.

With my mind made up that I don't want to give birth to children, I decided to see a doctor about my options. I wanted to know as much as I could before I made the final decision to put an end to any possibility of pregnancy.  The first thing she said to me was that women of my "demographic" later regret it.  Let me rephrase: she said that 90% of those women end up regretting it.  She also told me that there are few doctors that would perform the procedure because of my age, the fact that I've never had a child and the fact that I'm still single.  Oh yeah, she also said that out of the women that regret it and end up getting the $10,000, money up-front, reversal procedure, only 50% of them end up pregnant.  She commended me on thinking it through thoroughly and still being open to adoption, but she also believed that I was making a choice out of fear. Was she right?? Absolutely.  I can't deny when someone hits it right on the head. Even now, looking back at my reasons....it's all fear. I fear I'll pass down what I have. I fear miscarriages. I fear the disappointment of that single pink line, over and over. My reasons, no matter how thought out they are, are based in fear.

She also told me that she specializes in high-risk pregnancy (which is what I would be considered) and she said that with the technology and doctors out there, it is VERY possible for a woman with Diabetes and PCOS to have very healthy children.  She said it would require a lot of self discipline and monitoring, but it's possible.  She doesn't believe that fear should be a factor.  At the end of our conversation, she gave me information on different options and ended it with a "I can't tell you what decision to make, I can only give you the facts and options. From there you have to make the decision for yourself."

My appointment got me thinking:  Knowing what I now know, if I removed the fear from my "reasons," would I still feel the same way or would I be open to the option of eventually becoming pregnant? It's a good thing I'm still single, because I have a lot to think about....

Broken...

Broken are the wings of the songbird

What once gave her flight
Has died beneath the surface

Broken is she who's heart was healed

Numb is she who's heart can still feel

Fly once more she wants to do

But flightless she'll be 

Til her joy is renewed

I wrote this several months back, but it describes me more now than it did when I wrote it.  By nature, I'm a happy, joyful, positive person, but lately I've been feeling like there's a big black cloud above my head that just won't go away.  I know what has created the cloud, yet I don't know how to make it disappear.  I'm a pretty strong girl. I've had a lot thrown at me in short twenty-something years. For the most part, I've done a great job of handling the things that were thrown my way.  I had my struggles and there was a time that I needed doctor intervention to get me back to where I needed to be, but I was able to get past that and I'm stronger because of it. But with what life is dishing out to me now, I almost feel helpless. As much as I try to change my circumstances and replace the ugly in my life, I still come up short.  Nothing is changing and I can't seem to get the ugly to go away.  I used to be able to find joy in any situation, but now it's a struggle to do so. I want to go back to the way I was before. I want to go back so badly, but I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Or how I'm supposed to get there.  Thankfully, I have great family and friends that will walk beside me til I get back to where I want to be, but I just wish they could tell me how....

The Shallow End...

Is it shallow of me to NOT settle for something I don't want??

I've always been a "bigger" girl. I've come to accept that and I've grown to love my body (and I'm still trying to make healthy changes to it). With that said, when I spend time with a guy that is MUCH smaller than me and only a couple inches taller than me, I can't help but feel insecure. I can't help but feel like my size is on display. I'm uncomfortable. I become extremely self-conscious. I like the guy. He's different from any other guy I've "dated." He opens the door for me, he refuses to let me pay for anything even when I REALLY try to, and he's just an all around good guy, yet I can't seem to get my mind and heart to move in "that way" towards him. It's more than the weight/height thing too. Here's where I begin to sound really shallow....
He has a few really bad teeth. I am a teeth girl and always have been. I don't mind crooked, or a little yellow, or one or two missing (unless it's the front), but when they are black...I fear that it's a sign of poor hygiene. I can't handle that.

Well, I was talking to a friend today. I was telling her about him (the good and the bad) and she told me I shouldn't care about the size as long as he's a good guy and also that his teeth can be fixed. I stated back (probably quite rudely to her) "Why should *I* have to settle for something less than what I want when people around me don't? When they justify writing someone off because they don't fit in just the right way..." She said that I was right. She said that I shouldn't have to settle. I know what I have to do with this guy. As nice/good as he is, it's just not right for me. In addition to the size/teeth thing, we don't agree on a couple of key issues. So, I know what I have to do, but at the same time, this guy and the conversation I had with my friend have really made me question...Am I just shallow???? I mean, I fully believe that there's a guy out there that's right for me. He'll be the good/decent guy I'm looking for and he'll also possess the physical attributes I'm looking for. I'm not asking for model hot. I'm not even asking for hot. I'm asking for someone that I'm attracted to physically and facially. Someone that I DON'T feel self conscious around. Is it shallow of me to pass on this guy and wait for what I want? I mean, is it??

Conflicted...

If you're living on planet Earth, then I'm sure you've heard about the death of Osama Bin Laden. If you haven't heard, I suggest you check yourself for a pulse. =)

All joking aside, Osama Bin Laden is dead. Killed by a US Navy SEAL team on May 1, 2011. While I am incredibly proud of the military team for completing this mission and removing this piece of evil from our planet, I am also sad...and terrified. Let me explain.

As an American, I rejoice in the removal of evil from our earth (as I stated earlier). Bin Laden was a coward that brought death and heartache to thousands of Americans through the horrific events that took place on 9/11. He has also terrorized thousands, if not millions, of people from his own land. The man deserved to be brought down and as an American, I stand behind my country proudly shouting "U.S.A!" However, as a Christian, I am saddened. Yes, this man was evil but it states in the Bible, "Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice." Proverbs 24:17 Even Christ says, "I take no pleasure in the death of anyone...Repent and Live!" Ezekiel 18:32 If Osama never acknowledged his wrong doings and never asked for the forgiveness that Christ offers up for free, then his death means an eternity in hell. Why do we rejoice over that? We are supposed to rejoice when a lost soul is saved, not when it perishes. That is why I am conflicted.

Also, the death of Osama does not mean peace. There will be retaliation. There will be more violence. Even though we, the American people, despised this man, we can't deny the fact that he was loved and followed by many. Those many are now angered and they WILL retaliate. I want our troops home as much as anyone else, but at the same time, I don't want to deal with the retaliation on our land. I wish peace was at our doorstep with this death, but unfortunately it's not. All we can do now is sit back and pray for the safety and return of our troops. That is why I'm terrified.

Got Me Thinkin...

This one is going to be short and sweet...Can't really elaborate on this thought rolling around in my head.

Over the course of a couple years, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want children. So much so, that I've considered having my tubes tied. No joke. When I brought it up, I was told that nearly every doctor would deny me that. I wouldn't be approved for that because of my age. It would take A LOT of searching to find one that would. That's what got me thinkin...

Why, in this day and age, is it okay to get knocked up (some being younger than me), decide you're "not ready" and then have your baby murdered and removed from your body (with plenty of willing doctors to do the procedure), but it's NOT okay to prevent oneself (who is fully capable of handling the emotional effects) from ever getting pregnant in the first place? Aren't we living in a day of "choice?" I mean, if we're not allowed to deny someone their "choice" to murder their growing baby, then no one should be able to deny me my "choice" to prevent a growing baby. Am I wrong in this thinking??

I'd love to hear other opinions. Even if I've offended you with the way I referred to abortion. I have no apology for that.

Mr. Sunglass Man....

Dear Mr. I Must Wear Sunglasses Indoors Becuase I Think I'm Cool:

You're not. Don't get me wrong...your sunglasses were hot, and you weren't too bad yourself, but REALLY? I totally get that you want to show off your Ray Bans, but they are sunglasses. Repeat with me... SUNglasses. Yes...SUNglasses...which means when it's cloudy and grey outside, YOU. DON'T. NEED THEM! And if you come indoors on a cloudy grey day, you DEFINITELY don't need them.

Let me state for the record again, you were hot, but something about you keeping your sunglasses on while you were inside totally voided out that hotness. So unless you come into my store with Jon Bon Jovi (the ONE man that I'd totally give a 'sunglasses indoors' pass to), please take 'em off. They make you look like a douche.

Thank you and Sincerely,

The Girl Behind the Counter That Thinks You Look Like a Fool.

Like I Promised...

Yesterday's post was a tad bit heavy and full of "venom." I promised a happier post today and I always keep my promises.

We have this tree in our yard that has always been a favorite of mine. I've painted it in the winter for art class, I've layed under it many times snapping pictures in summer and I've taken so many pictures of it in the fall that I'm running out of shots (that don't include me actually climbing into the tree). The tree is unique. It's a maple tree, but it's not like any maple tree I've ever seen. You see, this maple tree has a very weird curve in it's trunk. I've lived in this house all my life and all my life the tree has looked the same. I've asked my dad many times how it got it's curve and every time, he doesn't know. Looking at the tree, I would imagine that it got struck by lightning, but I guess I'll never know. Regardless, it's my favorite tree. Being that it was a BEAUTIFUL day here in Michigan, I decided to snap a picture of my tree and share it with you.

We're at a point in Michigan that the weather is starting to get cold and crisp and our days are becoming shorter, but today we were blessed with sunshine and a little bit of warmth. The way the sun shined through the tree made it impossible to not snap a picture.
To me, today was the PERFECT fall day. I will soak it all while I can because before you know it, fall's little brother will be here and the rumor is that he's not going to be very nice this year. So, to all you Michiganders (and non-Michiganders), soak it in and enjoy the beauty!

Just So You're Aware...

Let me use this post to clear a few things up for *you...

Just because someone has diabetes doesn't mean they are unhealthy!

I'm sure what was said today wasn't meant in the way that it was taken, but it got me going. I'm cool now (for the most part), but I was pretty pissed when you said it. I'm now here to clear some things up for you about my health.

Yes, I have diabetes. Yes, I'm overweight, but overall I am healthy. My cholesterol levels are perfect every single time they're checked. My blood pressure is always spot on (if not a tad low). My lungs are healthy, and all of my organs still function properly (minus the pancreas...obviously). I pay attention to what I eat and try to avoid the processed and "junk" food as much as possible. Am I human and give in from time to time? Absolutely! Does that make me unhealthy? Absolutely not! Sure, I could change a few things, I won't deny that. I could work on getting more sleep and become more active. I'll admit that. But all in all, I'm a healthy 25 year old.

9 years ago, when I was maxed out at nearly 300 pounds, anyone would've had the right to call me unhealthy. Bad cholesterol, bad blood pressure, bad eating habits, bad EVERYTHING! But today?? Absolutely not!! And you were out of line for even saying so. Even if I was the smallest twig in the world, chances are I'd still have diabetes. The diabetes I have is NOT caused by weight, it's caused my genetic makeup. And the weight thing? I don't know if you were even referring to that, but let me make one thing clear. I've come a long freaking way and I'm not going to let your stupid little comment affect my progress. You don't live my life and you don't know my habits, you know I have diabetes. That's it! And having diabetes doesn't make me unhealthy. So stick that in your juice box and suck it!

*The 'you' that this is aimed toward will forever remain anonymous. He'll never, ever see this blog, but I still needed to get it off my chest.

Happy/non-abrasive post coming tomorrow.... =)

....

I did it. I wasn't ready to do it, but I knew I had to. I deleted him tonight. My heart raced before I confirmed the request and I hestitated, but I followed through. Like that, it was all gone. I think I'm okay. I'll know for sure in the morning....or not. Who knows.... All I really know is, I did it.

If only I could find the 'remove friend' button on my heart....

I Caved...

I caved. I logged in. And now I'm thinking it wasn't the best idea.... All it took was one picture and one caption to make my heart sink. All it took was one picture and one caption to send me back to the way I was feeling before I quit Facebook.


I thought I'd be okay. I thought I could sign in and be fine. I was wrong. Just a little backtracking here.... There were a couple reasons why I left Facebook.

1) I was neglecting my devotions and prayer time.
2) I had recently been hurt by a guy and wanted wipe him from my life for awhile....I wanted to get away until I was ready to delete him from my Facebook. I wanted to go back to being that girl that wasn't checking his facebook everytime I logged on to see who he was talking to. There it is. I've admitted it. Yeah...I was doing that.


Anyway... It was fine at first, but then on the right side of my page it started showing me friends that had been tagged in pictures. Can you guess who the first person was?? None other than the guy that hurt me. Go figure! So what did stupid Leah do? You guessed it! She clicked. This is where my heart sank. The picture was of him and his "ex" walking to the beach in Saugatuck. On the same path that he and I took. It's more than just the path though. Seeing that picture just made every assumption I made about our time together feel that much truer. Maybe I'm just being silly here (because I KNOW that nothing between us would have been right for me), but it hurt. It felt like a slap in the face. It made the feeling of getting played by him that much stronger. I spent six weeks with this guy thinking that he had a genuine interest in me and seeing this picture is proof that I was wrong.


Please don't misunderstand me. I don't want to go running to him or anything. It's not like that. I really am happy. I love my life, I love my job, and I have a great group of friends and an amazing family. I'm truly happy, but seeing the picture brings so much to the surface. It brings a lot of hurt to the surface. The hurt that comes from knowing that there are people out there that don't find "worth" in you. The hurt that comes from thinking about the time invested in someone when all you were to them was a game. And the hurt that comes from wondering if it's all going to be worth it in the end, wondering if your "number" will ever be called. Even after seeing the picture I can't delete him. I probably sound like a pathetic little high schooler, but I can't delete him yet. Which brings me to the whole point of this post....



I don't think I'm ready to be back on Facebook yet....

I'm Home...

You know the feeling of relief you get when you walk in the front door of your home after being gone on a very busy, very stressful trip?? You know, where you just take a deep breath and exhale a wisper of "I'm home?"
Yeah, I had that today.

When Movie Gallery started liquidating the stores, there was a rumor that Family Video would take over the location in Sparta. Then that rumor was confirmed. Before my store even closed permanently, I had an application into Family Video. After they closed, I got an interview, passed the test they make you take and got hired in. From there it's been a crazy, crazy whirlwind of trying to transition from the way I was used to (Movie Gallery) to a better way (Family Video). I had to start cramming a LOT of new information into my little brain in a very short amount of time. While all of this is going on, I had an interview with the Regional Manager and got the position of assistant manager for the Sparta location (the same location that my Movie Gallery was at and the same location I applied to with Family Video). So now, not only do I have to learn all sorts of new information that any regular employee must learn, but I must also learn a lot of the assistant manager information. Let me tell you, it has been a CRAZY ride!! Fun, but crazy.

Then today happened. After being shipped around to all sorts of locations for my training, I was finally sent to Sparta for the Grand Opening. I was on cloud nine all day long. Some of you may think that I'm absolutely nuts, but I couldn't wait to be back there. I missed everyone. I don't work with any of the same people, but most of the customers are the same. Getting to see their faces today made me so happy. They really have no idea how much I missed all of them. And I can't really tell them...it might sound kind of crazy. For real though, I had worked at MG for four years. I got to know so many of the customers so well that it felt like I was leaving family. One of the previous regulars came in and he topped my day off. He showed just as much excitement to see me as I did to see him. He told me that he was worried no one familiar would be working, but then he saw me through the window and couldn't wait to get inside. It was like a mini family reunion. We hugged and laughed and talked...and then of course, he signed up and rented movies. =)

Seriously, as I said before, I felt like I was on cloud nine all day long. Then my shift ended. I walked out to my car, got in, sat down, smiled and said to myself.... I'm home.

Enough is Enough...

The Duggars. I'm sure you've heard that name before. If not, let me fill you in. They got a reality TV show called "17 and counting." Now they're up to 19. That's not all.... THEY WANT ANOTHER!! This is wrong for MANY reasons!

Number ONE
They already have 19. Should I have to say any more???

Number TWO
She is 43. Not that age should be a big deal, but there are already signs that her body has had enough. The last baby, baby 19, was born 3 months premature. Why? Because Mommy Dearest Duggar had pre-eclampsia! The poor child spent the first six months of her life in a hospital with many life threatening issues including a perforated bowel. Which brings me to:

Number THREE
It's not fair to the children that you're bringing into this world if they're going to have a life full of medical issues because of your selfishness.

Am I being harsh? Probably, but I don't care!! I'm all for family values and seeing children as God's blessing, but there has got to come a point when you decide that enough is enough and you start taking into consideration the health of yourself and your children. Personally, I think this has become more of a selfishness issue than anything else. They've made money off of their situation and we all know that they'll make more the more children they have. Why the heck do you think "and counting" is at the end of their show title? I think it's sick and shameful. Take care of your children and get off TV and out of the magazines. Think about the health and lives of those children rather than the green you may see. Yes, God wants us to bring life into this world, but at the same time, he created the human that created birth control...See THAT as one of His many wonderful blessings as well!!